Season 1, Episode 11
March 24, 2013
Michael B. Kaplan
Stan is watching an online video of a puppy chasing the water coming out of the hose and is making his usual comments out loud. Bennett and Ellen hear him, and begin to worry that there is someone downstairs. When Stan hears them coming down, he jumps off the chair and lays down, leaving the video on the computer. Ellen and Bennett debunk it as just one of the kids leaving the computer on but decide that something bad could happen if a situation like that did come, and the family was not prepared for it. Ellen takes a self-defense class, and Bennett suggests they install a top-notch security system called the Homewatcher 9000. Annoyed with both of these choices, Avery and Tyler suggest Stan becomes the family watchdog. He is happy as he has found meaning in his life. At first, he is doing a great job, but after three days of no sleep, he drifts off halfway through the night, shortly after Tyler sneaks out to go to the carnival again to see a girl that works the tilt-a-world. When he comes home, he is dizzy and ends up knocking things over and making a huge racket. Ellen, with her new flip technique, uses her newly learned self-defense skills on Tyler. Stan sleeps through the entire time, so the family agrees that Stan is completely useless as a guard dog. Now with Stan out of the picture, they get the home watcher 9000. The kids realize that they'll never be able to keep Stan's secret with cameras everywhere throughout the household, so they come up with their own plan to prove that Stan can be a great guard dog. They fake a scene where a burglar is outside, but Stan chases him off. Later when the kids are in Avery's room talking, Bennett comes in and announces that he knew the kids have been faking it, but he'll keep it a secret so Ellen can quit her self defense class. Ellen comes into the room. She reveals that she also knew about the kids faking it, and she'll keep it a secret from Bennett so his Home Watcher 9000 idea is dropped.
- G. Hannelius as Avery Jennings
- Blake Michael as Tyler James
- Francesca Capaldi as Chloe James
- Stephen Full as the voice of Stan
- Regan Burns as Bennett James
- Beth Littleford as Ellen Jennings
- Mick as Stan
- Tyler is flipped by Ellen, Avery and Chloe.
- This is the first time Bennett and Ellen hear Stan's actual voice, although they don't know that was his voice.
- Stan's appearance as a superhero is a parody of Batman.
- HomeWatcher refusing to open the backdoor for Ellen, responding "I'm sorry Ellen, I can't do that", is a reference to HAL 9000 from the Space Odyssey series.
- The episode title is a pun on the expression "standing guard".
- When Tyler comes to the family near the end of the episode when they thought Stan chased the "robber" away the door is closed. Then throughout the rest of the scene, the door is open until the end when it is closed again.
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